Saturday, October 28, 2023

From The Archives #3 - Westoid Announces Retirement

Originally published 2007-10-03

The world of Chemistry was reeling last night after the shock news that Stanford chemist Westoid is to retire from science. The former UC Berkeley and Warwick researcher made the sensational announcement on his own website, just hours after a meeting with Stanford directors at which he informed the top brass that his appearance a fortnight today would be his last for the Silicon Valley-based research facility.

In his statement Westoid cited his ongoing disillusionment with chemistry, a dissatisfaction that perhaps surprisingly began during his seven year spell at Warwick.  Westoid claimed he “struggled with personal motivation” towards the end of his Warwick career, but felt “revitalized” when he was headhunted by UC Berkeley, the world’s most outstanding chemistry department, in 2004.

However, after a highly successful first season at Cal, Westoid again “fell into the doldrums regarding the future of chemistry” during his second year in Berkeley, and “seriously considered retirement” before Stanford came calling in 2006.  In spite of a promising start in Silicon Valley, Westoid has again “lost enthusiasm, motivation, passion and desire”, this time permanently, and will hang up his lab coat for the final time in Menlo Park on October 19, 2007.  A press conference has been scheduled for the following week at which the former chemist will announce his future plans.

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